The cannabis community deals with a diversity of those who love us but have their own personal opinions on weed. Some of them will hate our life decisions, while others may just spark a smoke session with us. Either way, be on the look out for these types of parents!

Name: Mr. Rogers

Codename: The Cool Dad

He’s your favorite. Your friends are actually only your friends because they want your dad to come to all the smoke sessions. I mean, where did your dad even go to school at? He knows too much about the weed industry, the roll up game, and the high economy. I mean, he has instagram pictures with Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifah. He doesn’t care if you smoke, as long as you get your homework done and you take care of your personal hygiene. I mean, he still is a dad afterall.

Name: Catherine Holywater

Codename: Momma Catholic Church

She’s the nicest mom you can have until she gets a whiff of even the faintest smell of weed. As soon as she does, she turns her nose up, coughs in an over exaggerated but ugly way, then says, “Jesus didn’t die for you to smoke your way into hell, children”. She knows you smoke, just yesterday she threw holy water on you to wash away the addiction she believes you have. She blames your friends, your school, other parents and the devil for what weed has ‘supposedly’ done to her family. She’ll never admit you smoke though, but the whole town knows you do. She takes you to Church, never knowing you go to the bathroom to light one up in the name of the Lord.

Name: Betsy Windchill

Codename: Ms. My kids are perfect

She knows her son’s name around town is ‘Roll Dat Joint King’. She also knows her daughter’s name is ‘Strip It For Us Becky Babe’. Although she knows the actions of her children, she swears their perfect. In her eyes, her children are saints and can do no wrong. In fact, I’m pretty sure Sister Catherine and Betsy Windchill are best friends. She has even convinced herself that her son is vaping, and the flavor is scented weed. Reality check much.

Name: Daniel Dealer

Codename: Danny Scarface Dealer

Your dad started selling weed at 12 and never left the game. He’s the man that everyone looks for when it’s that time for a smoke session. I mean he the sugar daddy of the town, nice cars, nice house, women on his line. You being his child, gives you all types of privilege. People fear you, respect you, love you, and smoke with you because of him. Sadly, all of this hype has made you less involved with the cannabis scene. You just see it as a pastime for your old man, and you do smoke on a daily basis, it’s just you don’t find it as exciting as everyone else.

Name: Roberson Fitzgerald

Codename: Officer Friendly

Why does your have to be a cop? You never get invited to the smoke sessions, and no one wants to sell you weed. You’re isolated by that blue uniform your dad seems to walk around in. What’s worse is your dad is as dad like and police like as possible. He gives you drug test on the weekly just to confirm his precious son isn’t breaking the law he swore to uphold. He's not the smartest cookie in the jar though. He still doesn’t know you have been using your brother’s urine for the past three years to pass these tests.