Seeing as my parents are about to slaughter me, allow me to teach you a couple of things on how to keep your ass out of the lion’s den with the adults that apparently wants what’s best for you.. As I stated before, my parents are super conservative. They hate weed, even though they find it perfectly find to use narcotics like oxycodone and percocet. So I will include in my this entry a short stories from my life on how to save yourself from those pharmaceutical worshipping parents of yours. Let’s begin:

Rule #1 - Never use the word weed, cannabis, drugs or even suggest you are interested in these types of things.

I know it sounds crazy, but one day my family was at the dinner table talking about our day. My brother was listening to his Ipod, so he had no idea what we were talking about. My dad noticed and was getting upset when he swiftly pulled the headphones from his headphone jack. When I tell you this was hilarious, I mean my kidneys almost busted. The ipod started playing the song out loud, and all you could hear was,

“'California love, this California bud

Got a nigga gang of pub

I'm on one, I might bail up in the Century Club

With my jeans on n' my team's strong

Get my drink on n' my smoke on

Then go home with somethin' to poke on

(Waz up bitch)

Loc' it's on for the two triple, oh

Comin' real it's the next episode”

You should have seen my parents faces. Red in all their glory, and what’s worse is my dumbass brother had the audacity to bump to the rhythm of the song while it played. I sat there in awe, I could not believe my brother was bumping to Snoop Dogg’s ‘Smoke Weed Everyday’. What’s worse is my mother, and how she states the obvious and it makes my father even more mad. He said, “David, you listen to that weed music”. You should have seen how my dad looked over at my mom like she had said the dumbest thing ever. To make things worse, she then said, “David, we don’t need you poppin the molly”. Of course this was after I started smoking weed, so this whole thing was even funnier. Why do parents actually believe popping molly correlates to using cannabis? See, in this case I kept my mouth shut. I pretended like I was just as surprise, even though I’m the one who put him on to Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa. I even lectured him in front of my parents, and my mother started crying. It was like their son committed murder, that night he got all of his electronics taken. Poor kid, all he wanted to do was get his drink on and smoke on.